I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
