i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
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