my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
