I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize