Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
