If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
