My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
