I smell stomach acid.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
