It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
