dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
