There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
