Hey man sorry I got all grabby
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
