It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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