I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
We are two peas in an std pod
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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