He disabled his match.com account in front of me
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize