It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
