I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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