Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
