I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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