she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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