One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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