We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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