ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize