he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
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