I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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