What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
