wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize