We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
