I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Randomize
