A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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