fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
