Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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