OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
