I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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