She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
