So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
How does it feel to date your dad?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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