the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Randomize
