soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
