I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
zippers are such a cool invention
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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