it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
They have beer where we have blood.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
