i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
