just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
