hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
