Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
