He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
