Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
