EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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