my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
The air was thick with penises
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
