I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
