omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
