I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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