Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
