Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
