Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
