Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
