You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Never joke about your clitoris.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize