Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
