I need help removing her.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
