i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
i just had sex bonerless
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize