She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
