I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Randomize
