my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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